In a town as small as Tyson, CA, everybody knew the four brothers with the four different fathers– and their penchant for making good music when they weren’t getting into trouble. For Mackey Sanders, playing in Outbreak Monkey with his brothers and their friendsโespecially Grant Adams–made Tyson bearable. But Grant has plans for getting Mackey and the Sanders boys out of Tyson, even if that means staying behind.
Between the heartbreak of leaving Grant and the terrifying, glamorous life of rock stardom, Mackey is adrift and sinking fast. When he’s hit rock bottom, Trav Ford shows up, courtesy of their record company and a producer who wants to see what Mackey can do if he doesn’t flame out first. But cleaning up his act means coming clean about Grant, and that’s not easy to do or say. Mackey might make it with Trav’s help–but Trav’s not sure he’s going to survive falling in love with Mackey.
Mackey James Sanders comes with a whole lot of messy, painful baggage, and law-and-order Trav doesn’t do messy or painful. And just when Trav thinks they may have mastered every demon in Mackey’s past, the biggest, baddest demon of all comes knocking.
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You Want
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homegrown band,ย Outbreak Monkey,ย will be performing a six-ย song set between D.J. Boomerโs dance
music at the Graham Winters High School prom. The band, headedย by McKay
โMackeyโ Sanders onย lead vocals, Jeff Sanders on bass and their brother
Kell Sanders on lead guitar, also features Grant Adams on second lead and
Stevie Harris on drum set. All members are Graham Winters High School students
and we are proud to have them play!
McKay Sanders kissed his brotherโs best friend, Grant,ย they were getting
high in a burned-out carย in the field behind Mackeyโsย apartment
building. Kellogg, who looked old enough to buy even thoughย heโd just
turned eighteen, had spent ten dollars the brothersย didn’tย haveย onย cheap
Muscat. By the time Grantโwhose father had moneyโbrought out the pot, Kellogg,
Jefferson, and Stevie were passed out on the old campย blanket Stevie had
brought from his dadโs garage.
sorts, for landing the prom gig.
all the Muscat, though, and Mackey felt left out. Kellogg keptย saying itย wasn’tย right to get his little brother drunk,ย and Mackey kept saying itย wasn’tย right to drink in frontย ofย him, but by the time Kellogg was too drunk to
argue, thereย wasn’tย any wine left.
finished off the other bottle all by themselvesโjust sitting quietly, not
making any waves like they usually did, passing the bottle between them.
lot,โ Grant said after Kell let out a gut-busterย of a yawn and fell asleep
quick as a baby.
prodded at his older brother with his toe. The three brothers present looked
nothing alike. Kell was built like a tank, with rounded shoulders, a brown-eyed
glare, and plain brown hair that he buzz- cut short to his scalp. He was like
born practicality, which was why hoarding the wine rankled Mackey so badly. An
expenditure like thatย wasn’tย going to happenย again.
said, letting out a sigh. He slouched backย inside the shelter of the car,
peering through the doorframe at the iron grayย sky. โHeโs the one who
takes care of us, you know? But not in the band.โ
ably enough, but Mackey….
everything,โ Grant said with admiration. โYouโre theย one who puts the
songs together, figures out who should be playing what.ย And the shit you
write on your own….โ
little shyly. Grant had the most interesting face, with a long, straight nose,
full pink lips, and almond-shaped hazel eyes. When Grant looked at him with
admiration, it stopped his breath andย pulled rubber bands in his stomach.
โI just….โ He stopped because Grantย was reaching into his pocket, and he
pulled out a baggie full of weed andย papers. โOoh….โ
other three, who were sleeping soundly in the late afternoon chill.ย โI was
gonna share,โ he said mischievously, โbut Kell was a dick about the wine, so I
thought you and me?โ Mackeyย nodded, captivated by the thrill of the
forbiddenโand by the way that cherry-ripe mouth pulled up at the corners when
Grant smiled.
Kell do sometimes. But, you know, Kellโs usually a good guy.โ
sleeping brother. Kellย wasย a good guy. For example, Mackey had a confused memory of their
youngest brotherย Cheeverโs dad, the one dadย they thought would stick
around beyondย giving the baby a first name. Cheeverโs dadย hadn’tย been very
patient, andย heโdย hatedย Mackey. Well, Mackeyย wasย sort of a smartass. Heโd probably had that fist coming. But thatย hadn’tย stopped Kell from stepping up andย hitting Enos Cheever right back.
Mackey and Kellย had both needed stitches after that, but their mom had kicked
Enos Cheever outโchild support or no child support. That was okay. Kell and
Jeff had been almost old enough toย work by then. Theyโd only needed
assistanceย for a couple of months.
I can boss him around,โ Mackey said glumly. โHe… heโs the leader, right?
But…ย but Iย hearย the music, and it just makesย sense, you know? And… and
you canโt do itย wrongย just โcause itโll hurt Kellโs feelings. Itโsย augh!โย He was waving his hands
around, trying to findย words, which was funny, because Mackey actuallyย wrote songs.ย He
closed his eyes, ignoring Grant rolling a number, and tried to make a song out
of it.
happy and he wantsย to keep me fed, he makesย sure thatย I’veย got
blankets andย a place to sleep in a bed, but the music in my heart is like a
freight train. It goes and it goes and when I stop it, itโs like pain, but my
brotherย doesn’tย see itย doesn’tย hear itย doesn’tย feel it,ย andย allย thereย is to do is shove him out of the way. Donโt want to hit my brother with the
freight train.โ
because the friction with Kell hurt. Theyย were tight. Theyย hadย to be tight, because
Tyson, California, had a population of ten thousand, and it was a small enough
town that the woman with the four sons and four fathers was sort of famous.
They hadย to have each otherโs backs or Cheeverย wouldn’tย have survivedย kindergarten.
deep breath, then coughed.
was staring back in awe over the glowing ember of the joint. Grant held the
smoke for a minute and exhaled,shaking his head. โGod, itโs gorgeous when you
do that,โ he said, hisย voice choked.
notย able to stop staring at him.
air,โ Grant said, the dreamy smile on his fullย lips maybe a side effect of
the pot, but maybe not. Grant was sitting in theย back of the car, his feet
at the foot of the blanket the others were sleeping on. He passed Mackey the doobie
around the doorframe, and Mackey regarded the joint with a little bit of fear.
nervously, and Grant grinned.
he confirmed, taking the doobie back.
knowing his face was flushing in spite of the iron mountain chill.
taking another hit. He stood up, stillย holding the smoke in his lungs, and
knelt in front of Mackey, so close theirย lips almost brushed. Mackeyโs
mouth fell open, because,ย holy God, Grant wasย right there,ย and
Mackey had been trying not to look at him like he had wanted himย right thereย since
he was twelve years old.
for invitation and exhaled, right betweenย Mackeyโs parted lips.
gentle, the smoke hardly tickled. Heย didn’tย choke or cough like heโd seenย other
people do, just breathed in subtle-like,ย afraid to startle Grant or make
him move in any way. His exhale was even quieter, letting the smoke trickle out
through his lips and his nose, where it stung.
dry from the smoke and from the way Grant was staring at him, seemingly as
mesmerized as he was by thoseย golden eyes and moist red mouth. โHowโs
Sam?โ he asked, because Samantha Peters had been Grantโsย shadow for the
past year.
whispered, and the movement made their lipsย touch.
because Grant started this, and Mackey was fourteen to his seventeen. Grant
would know what to do.
whisper-soft,ย then angel-soft,ย then Grantโsย tongue swept into
his mouth, acrid with the bitter taste of weed, but something in it was sweet.
Something in it made Mackey open his mouth to beg for more.
pushing him back against the seat, taking his mouth more, and more and more,
until Mackey was pressed against the burned-outย seat frame, his hands
buried in the thick top strip of Grantโs hair, his lips being bruised and his
mouth plundered by his brotherโs bestย friend.
sharpened, turned plastic, and Grant jerked his head back.
joint had fallen onto the blanket at their feet, and he spent a moment stomping
it out as it smoldered. When heโdย killed the ember, he glanced at Mackey
sheepishly.
he said, and Mackey watched curiously asย two red crescents surfaced on his
sharp cheekbones, like disappearing ink coming to life.
a lot,โ Mackey confessed, feeling brave andย bold, and Grant found
something to look at far away.
count on me like that, okay?โ
away too. Well, of course, right? Two guys get high and they do something
crazyโdidn’tย mean shit, did it.
thing. โYeah, well. You know. Strongย weed,ย right?โ
โStrong.โ His hand was firm on Mackeyโs shoulder then, and Mackey closed his
eyes as he felt the rasp of Grantโs chilled palm against his cheek. โStrongerโn
shame.โ
his face.
they both knew heโd deny it, but one hit of potย didn’tย give you eyeballsย that
red.
a moan and rolled over, and that was the cue for everyone to wake up. They were
headachy and sick, and it was lucky Grant had brought a six-pack of water, of
all things, so they could at least rinse out their mouths after they puked.
to the vacant field in his momโs minivan,ย and later that evening, he
stopped and let them run inside the grocery store to buy noodles andย spaghetti
sauce for dinner. Theyโd promised their mom theyโd take care of groceries if
she let them get away with not watching Cheever for the afternoon. When they
got to the Sanders boysโ apartmentย complex, Grant and Kell were giving
each other shit in the front seat. Mackey stared out the window and let their
banter wash over him, just like he ignored Jefferson and Stevie talking in
quiet undertones about comic books and naked girl pictures. Jeff and Kell had
best friends. Mackey had brothersโsix of them,ย if he counted Cheeverโs
little friend Kevin, whichย he did.
get to play at the prom?โ Kell asked,ย laughing.
moment, he caught Mackeyโs gaze in the rearview, and then he glanced back
toward the road. โShe wants to dressย pretty and dance with me in a suit.โ
noise or anything, but suddenly he knew, knew like it had been branded on hisย skin, that Grantย didn’tย want to danceย with a girl in a dress. And that it
would hurt worse thanย orange juice on chapped lips, but Mackey was going to
have to watch him do it.
About The Author
Amy Lane has four children, two cats, a love starved Chi-who-what, a crumbling mortgage and an indulgent spouse. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and m/m romance–and if you give her enough diet coke and chocolate, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.
You can can find Amy at
pattiannie says
Biting nails and hoping I can patiently wait for novel release. Sounds like another great Amy Lane book. @;-)
Bronwyn Heeley says
oh man, it’s getting really close, I can’t effing wait!!!